Rocky

You know how overusing antibiotics can weed out weaker strains of bacteria and leaves behind stronger and antibiotic resistant bacteria? It is some form of natural selection or survival of the fittest. I think these microorganisms are called superbugs or something. Well I have come to the conclusion that my love-handles and inner thighs are some sort of superbug as well (except that they are certainly not considered microorganisms or microanything). Regardless of how much time I spend on the elliptical machine, how far I ride my bicycle or how many abdominal workouts I do, these areas of my body are unwavering. If I could only have as strong of a will or endurance as these portions of my body...I would be able to accomplish anything. Not that I have terribly weak will power or drive or anything. Some things just seem daunting. For instance when I attempt to run 3 miles, I sometimes along the way freak out at the idea of running the entire thing and the next thing I know I am completely...

Sometimes I feel like a fraud. I may have had one or two good pieces of artwork but just by chance, a fluke. It is as if someone has mistaken me for someone else and I am too afraid to correct them. Partly because I really wish I was that person and also because I think that maybe if I identify myself with them I will become them. Though the times when I do try to correct them with the truth, people call me modest or I assume they think I am fishing for compliments. When honestly, I wish I were a true artist: a painter, a photographer, a singer, writer. I may show some sort of ability in some of these areas but nothing too promising. Instead of being inspired by the masters of the arts, I become depressed knowing I could never live up to that sort of standard. Sometimes I think I should just ride this ride and enjoy it while I can until the shtick is up. When everyone realizes I had a few bouts of luck and that I really am some sort of a poser or “wanna be.” My fraudulent lifestyle doe...

I have been meaning to update for some time now. I have even thought of exact posts to write, but I was either too busy or too lazy to actually do it. Remind me later to possibly write about jazz and jelly donuts or things I learned from salsa. On a different note, my resolutions are usually very relaxed and not so rigid. I feel that inflexible goals and rules are hard to meet. My goals are usually generalized and allow room for growth, change and unexpected circumstances. That being said, I had a loose goal of reading 2 books per month. I read 21 books in total this year. Which I consider a success and will try to do better this year. I will do another post perhaps based on this year's goals. I would include them now, but to tell you the truth...I haven't thought of them yet. Books I read in 2008 (cover photos brought to you by Amazon.com)

Many things have happened since I last posted, some of great importance and some not so much though fun none the less. So I thought I would give a quick run down. 1. I did in fact put all my books in order of color, which I quite like even still. 2. I went camping with several friends and we had fun taking photographs 3. I was in our church's safe Halloween alternative play. I was a narrator. 4. I dressed up as Twiggy for a Costume Dance party hosted by Queen's Club. 5. Barrack Obama was elected our new president. 6. I went to Wichita Kansas a weekend for a youth convention. While there I saw a guy with the word Kansas tattooed on his forearm and Wichita tattooed on the other forearm. I wish I took his picture. 7. I finished reading Hard Times

This is what my bedroom currently looks like. (well actually it is kind of messy right now, but ideally this is what my room looks like) My books are too jumbled and I have troubles taking them off the shelf without everything falling down. I have also started new piles on my desk and things to make them more accessible. (though my desk is a drafting desk and I would like to be able to put it at a slant and cannot do so with so many things on it.) Also my golden sofa has been on the decline ever since I got it (I found it on someone's curb and the sign said something about them having it for 15 years and that it was free) Though I love the old golden girl, she sags in the center and I don't think I can really have her for much longer. All of that being said, I have been looking for some time at bookcases. I would like to have some shelves with square compartments but it seems that they are much too expensive. My mom found these bookcases of varying heights that I could put side...

The idea of beatuy has crossed my mind a lot recently. How we put value on beauty and how we define beauty. I realize there are extreme in depth studies on this subject and I am not even remotely starting to scratch the surface of the subject. Though I have thought of it none the less. In my philosophy class I took a year or so ago we discussed how beauty is very influential and powerful. Studies have shown that many small children and sometimes even babies perfer more "attractive" people over their counterparts. This is not just a child thing, there have been studies that have shown that many presidents of the United States have been chosen based on attraction. I find it frieghtening that presidents have been chosen not for what they stand for or how they will serve the country but rather on their appearance. This is also mildly disturbing for people like me who don't always fit the world's definition of attractive. I'm not tall and leggy, I don't have flawle...

I watched my cousin Carey today. She was walking around with a baby doll dangling by its neck tucked under her arm. I asked her what its name was (My default question for any child carrying anything. I like to hear what they think is a suitable name for whatever object they are carrying). Her response was "Tammy." I found this humorous, not only because she said it so plainly and in a matter of fact way but mainly because I think of Tammy as being a name straight out of the 80's (no offense if you like or if your name is Tammy). Being that my cousin was born just 4 years ago, (which is mind boggling in itself that a person born in 2004 could be walking, talking and naming things...because 2004 seems like it was this morning) it is just funny that she picked that name. I don't know why but 1998 and 1999 seems to have happened yesterday to me. So when I say that my car is a 1994 Honda Accord I feel like I just drove it off the lot and I say it with almost a bit of pride...